Samoan funeral rites...

'Ie Tonga' or fine mats at Mangere PIC

This has been a busy year so far regarding funerals in having been involved in various roles with at least 7 of friends, church and family.

This last week, tribute was paid to an elder lady within our Samoan EKLS (church congregation - family) whose family had been a part of the Mangere PIC church since the 1970s.

In different forums, I've been aware of discussions regarding the difficulties that are thwart with having traditional Samoan funerals rituals for their NZ born or raised children.

Whereby some children of an elderly Samoan parent who has passed away wish not to have the involvement of 'Ie Tonga' (fine mats) or any Samoan traditional practices i.e. matai (chiefs) or lauga (traditional oratory speeches) except for the acceptance of monetary gifts to help with funeral costs. As for them, it's about being able to meet the payments associated with the funeral and ending with a cup of tea for the reception after the burial. Cremation is still not accepted in many Samoan circles.

On the other side of this discussion, I've been in Samoan settings whereby there have been discussions about the sadness that some Samoan born Samoans have at attending various highly ranked Samoan elders whose funeral did not take into consideration funeral rites regarding the rank or position that the deceased person with their EKLS i.e. church community, extended family or that they had within Samoan society and they expressed that it was so sad to see as Samoans.

Since attending PIC and in being involved as an Elder, I recently (as of last week) witnessed the beauty but also the different stages that the family had to contend with in being involved with a funeral of an elder woman. The various stages that I was aware of at this Samoan traditional funeral (as with many funeral rites) directly after the announcement had been made public were:

1. Families visiting the bereaving family with gifts of money and/or Ie Tonga with cups of tea or food plates reciprocated often with gifts returned to the family which could involve tinned food/boxes of chicken, $ etc. (dependent on the gifts received).
2. Elders from the church visit the family with gifts of $ and having a church service with the family. This is reciprocated with food and $ gifts.
3. The family service whereby different groups will come and sometimes sing at the service with $ gifts and special flower tributes and a special cloth to be presented and laid over the tomb.
4. After the family service, a cup of tea will be set out for attendees and gifts will be reciprocated between the groups who attended and the family representatives often of money to the family and tins of food and or monetary gifts.
5. At the funeral service, all of the cloths and flower tributes are taken to the gravesite after the service and laid at the grave with the cloths taken into the grave to be buried, often with a large tapa cloth wrapping everything with the coffin. They will then attend a reception.
6. After the reception, the family representatives gift the church with Ie Tonga, cans of food and monetary gifts often given to the Ministers, church Secretaries and important representatives on the head table and this is followed by general gifts to the church as stated.
7. The final event for the church would be the distribution of these gifts to the various families registered in the church as with their policies and for the family it's about coming together to discuss the financial position of the event regarding bills - if there any any $ left etc.

This is only a general events calender of what often happens at Samoan funerals whereby the family chooses to continue with Samoan funeral rituals involving a church. Although each congregation is different and each family is different but the general principles prevail.

What I've learned from these past few weeks is that having a large family base to support this effort is very important with extended family members who are very aware of the various rituals that need to be completed in a timely manner as they play a significant role.

Having skilled and orators who know how to manage the finances carefully with reciprocity is another important effort as the goal is to ensure that the bills are all paid and that there may be $ left over to support the family with a headstone for the anniversary service.

These are just some of my reflections regarding the things that I've learnt over the past few weeks...